Sophie is a small - but very strong - dog. She ran away with our bench. Really!
Customers keep coming in and asking what happened to our bench, and when we tell them, they don’t believe us. It does sound like a child’s excuse, but, well, a dog did actually run away with our bench. She didn’t get too far, though.
I was standing at the counter cutting fish, which is what I do most of the day, when all of the customers in the store started gasping, and one woman started to scream. I looked up as the screaming woman ran outside, and I saw only a truck come to a screeching halt. A few of my employees ran out after the woman, and then they all ran down the street. I went outside and the bench was gone.
My first thought: maybe some crackhead or an A-Rod-wanna-be flew into a rage, grabbed our 70-pound bench and ran off with it? Or, someone was fed up with their old couch and really wanted a beautiful old wrought-iron and wood bench to firm up their movie nights?
But, no, I would learn that it was a cute little dog named Sophie. She couldn’t have weighed more than 25 pounds. She is an adorable little mutt whose leash had been tied to our bench. Her owners stationed her there a few minutes earlier, in their line of sight while they ordered inside at our counter. It seems that Sophie must have been suddenly scared by something, and that scare caused her to take off down Houston Street, still attached to our bench.
Sophie came to a stop, safely, one block east of us, on Houston in front of Katz’s. The bench that she towed behind her on her run, however, slammed into a liberty cab on its way down the street. Thankfully, Sophie was totally unharmed. The mother of the family was the most freaked out, and the father and son, while apologetic, got a good laugh out of the ordeal.
The aftermath: only one bench left!
Not to worry, we are presently looking for another bench. If you have any leads, e-mail us, please!
For all of you customers with dogs, even the little ones: please don’t leave them tied to our bench. We only have one left. Tie them up down the block on American Apparel’s benches. They have approximately nine, and they’re all bolted down.
- Joshua Russ Tupper
